Tag Archive for Humor

F.D.A. Approves Cooties Vaccine

In a major decision yesterday, and one that surprised many industry-watchers, the U.S. Food & Drug Administration approved the much publicized Cooties Vaccine, first announced in April 2012 by pharmaceutical giant fPizer PillCorp, Inc. The prospect of a permanent cure for Cooties, the world’s oldest known sexually-transmitted disease, created a media frenzy two years ago,…

Ranch-Flavored Vandalism Hits Ottawa County

Samuel Heimenberg, a 55-year-old local resident, and a carpenter who recently opened Heimenberg Plumbing on Mercury Drive, became the latest victim in a spate of recent vandalistic crimes.  Upon leaving his home in Robinson Township for work yesterday, Heimenberg was shocked to find all the windows of his car covered with a smooth and creamy substance,…

Chinook Pier Mini Golf is TOP-3 FINALIST For Putt-Putt Course of the Year

Following more than a decade of diligent efforts to create a uniquely challenging and thrill-packed putt-putt golf experience, Grand Haven’s renowned waterfront course has been named a Top-3 Finalist for Midwest Putt-Putt Course of the Year, the annual award to be presented in July by Putt-Putt Monthly Digest. “It’s some long-overdue recognition for us”, says…

Meteorologist Trapped in WZZM13 Weather-Deck Collapse Rescued by WOTV StormTeam8

Emergency workers, gathered friends & family, as well as the thousands of concerned folks holding an all-night candlelight vigil for WZZM13 meteorologist Lance Doppler, breathed a collective sigh of relief just before dawn this morning, when WOTV’s StormTeam8 arrived on the scene and staged a dramatic rescue.  Members of the elite squad raced from their…

Kite Festival Melee Turns Into Fracas – Police Intervention Prevents Brouhaha

Again this year, tragedy, or certainly severe unpleasantness, struck the annual Kite Festival held at The Grand Haven State Park (conveniently located in Grand Haven), when a melee erupted between two rival kiter-gangs. This traditionally tranquil event, usually a fun, safe, family-values-type-outing, has in recent years become a seething hot-bed of rivalries between the ever-growing…

96-Year-Old Japanese Soldier Found Behind Butch’s Beach Burritos

Owners and employees at Butch’s Beach Burritos in Grand Haven were as surprised as anyone else in town to discover a 96-year-old Japanese soldier from World War II living behind their popular establishment.  When part-time burrito-wrapper Jason Sunderson took a bag of trash to the dumpster behind the restaurant, he saw an elderly man trapped under…