Tourist Beaten By Mob For Heckling Musical Fountain

tourist-fountain-storyWhen a visiting tourist began heckling and laughing during last night’s performance of the Grand Haven Musical Fountain, he found out the hard way just how popular the city’s top tourist attraction remains after fifty-two years. According to numerous eyewitnesses, the man was asked politely to refrain from the disparaging remarks, and many people sent their most emphatic ‘shhhhhhh’ in his direction, but the derogatory diatribe continued undeterred. When the man shouted out, “This is totally lame!”, nearby revelers and Musical Fountain lovers attacked the man, and officials estimate more than twenty people participated in the subsequent beating, before Public Safety Officers arrived on the scene and had to continue beating the man for resisting arrest on charges of unwarranted rudeness and creating a public disturbance.

The inconsiderate fountain-hater, identified by Authorities as 32-year-old James Camperman, visiting from Indianapolis, IN, is currently listed in semi-critical but partially-stable condition at North Ottawa Community Hospital, where he has regained consciousness, and continues to receive treatment for a broken jaw, three broken ribs, and multiple cuts and contusions. A spokesperson for the Department of Public Safety has confirmed that Camperman is the only person facing charges over last night’s incident, saying, “We can’t officially condone the kind of mob-vigilantism that took place, but when someone disrespects a beloved icon like the Musical Fountain, they sort of deserve what they get. Mr. Camperman was lucky that most of the attackers were much older than he is, and hopefully he’s learned that if you can’t say something nice, you shouldn’t say anything at all.”

According to sources at North Ottawa Community Hospital, Camperman cannot make any official comment while his jaw is wired shut, but doctors hope at least one of his thumbs will be useable for texting or Tweeting within a week.

Unfortunately, last night’s incident isn’t the first time the Musical Fountain has aroused passions leading to violence. No one old enough to remember will ever forget the carnage of July 4, 1977, when 6 people were killed and more than 200 were injured after a riot erupted over seating arrangements and the intense competition for best blanket-placement along the over-crowded riverbank. That tragedy became the subject of a 1979 film called, “Dancing Waters of Death”, which went on to win an Academy Award for Best Documentary Film of that year.

Built in 1962, the Fountain utilizes 8,000 feet of pipe and 1,300 nozzles, which spray 4,000 gallons of water per minute, dazzling and entertaining tens of thousands of visitors each summer with its elaborately choreographed spectacle of music, light and water.  Nightly show times are as follows:

10:10 PM
Nightly shows June 10 through July 15
10:00 PM
Nightly shows July 16 through August 6
9:50 PM
Nightly shows August 7 through August 17
9:30 PM
Nightly shows August 18 through August 30
8:30 PM
After Labor Day – September 5, 6, 12, 13, 19, 20, 26, 27
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  33 comments for “Tourist Beaten By Mob For Heckling Musical Fountain

  1. Laurie Stephens
    June 17, 2014 at 8:44 pm

    OMG, too funny!!!

  2. Pete
    June 17, 2014 at 8:58 pm

    Most people who get beat up deserve it. Not all, but most.

  3. Jim
    June 17, 2014 at 10:10 pm

    This is a free country. We have freedom of speech. I think it is pathetic that grown adults found it ok to beat up a person over such a silly situation! And then local law enforcement bragging that this man deserved what he got! Are you kidding me? So how much more of a poor example can we give teaching others that violence is ok as long as there’s a group of people joining in the mob to physically assault one person. I hope he sues the city and teach you all a valuable lesson! Shame on you!!

    • fuck you
      June 17, 2014 at 10:24 pm

      Jim: have you ever heard of satire you useless, scum of the earth, idiot.

    • Lone Eagle
      June 18, 2014 at 1:19 pm

      Freedom of speech: The right to openly express disapproval of the government without threat of retaliation or imprisonment.

      Idiot speech: Using your mouth, without engaging your brain, to be disrespectful of others.

      Butt whooping: The result of idiot speech.

    • nate
      June 22, 2014 at 12:32 pm

      I hope you get sued you heartless person he should have gotten a more severe beating for that remark LONG LIVE GRAND frikin’ HAVEN

    • Dan Reid
      June 24, 2014 at 3:18 pm

      Exactly what I was thinking…This is not okay.. escort him instead of beating him.. idiot police statement.

    • Jay Carr
      June 26, 2014 at 7:41 pm

      I Totally agree. Was the guy a jerk? Sure he was. But that doesn’t give anyone else the right to commit assault & battery. I also hope he sues the city, the police, & ANY person that did this if they have their names!

    • Lee
      July 9, 2014 at 4:20 pm

      Calm down this is sarcasm. it highlights 1 how little we all really don’t care about musical fountains, 2 how protective people are of their home town, 3 how serous blanket placement is, I have had fist fights about those spots.

    • Mike
      May 4, 2015 at 10:55 am

      Holy crap you’re dumb Jim!! You believe every word of that article. Don’t you? You should read the other one about the Japanese war veteran living behind Butches Beach Burritos that they shipped back to Korea.

  4. Chris
    June 18, 2014 at 1:43 am

    This is an outrage, the musical fountain is such a beautiful waste of money and should be celebrated nightly by the locals of “Grand” Haven! I can not believe that a heckler of this marvelous wonder was not beaten to his death by these “elder” citizens. Shame on them for not using any available weapon to end this persons life! People like this do not deserve to live, and are the SOLE reason that capitol punishment should be legal in the great state of Michigan. I rest my case and may this poor soul rest in peace when he is shanked to death in the Ottawa County Jail, it’s a rough place and I am sure that he will face the well deserved “street justice” he has coming to him.

    • matt v
      June 20, 2014 at 12:26 pm

      I’m sorry but I have to say Ottawa county jail is like a adult day care camp. There is no shanks or anything like that you are thinking of prison there bud.

    • Jeff Hoisington
      June 23, 2014 at 9:53 am

      You are a fucking lunatic

  5. Sue
    June 18, 2014 at 6:45 am

    Thats what they get for messing with Grand Haven……rrrrrrrr. They should have thrown them in the fountain….lol

  6. BV
    June 18, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    “…had to continue beating the man for resisting arrest on charges of unwarranted rudeness and creating a public disturbance.” – priceless!


  7. matt v
    June 20, 2014 at 12:22 pm

    Funny how it never was in the paper or on the news. Sorry people I’m from grand haven and this is fake. So I wouldn’t waste time writing commentsor waste time getting worked up over it.

  8. richey
    June 20, 2014 at 1:10 pm

    “So I wouldn’t waste time writing comments…”

    You just did!

  9. Jason
    June 20, 2014 at 5:52 pm

    You are all morons who believe this is real.

  10. tim
    June 21, 2014 at 8:08 am

    Sadly I find no reference to “Dancing Waters of Death” at all. Here are the Academy Award winners for 1979. Best Documentary, Short Subjects
    The Flight of the Gossamer Condor: Jacqueline Phillips Shedd, Ben Shedd
    The Divided Trail: A Native American Odyssey: Jerry Aronson
    An Encounter with Faces: K.K. Kapil
    Goodnight Miss Ann: August Cinquegrana
    Squires of San Quentin: J. Gary Mitchell
    Best Documentary, Features
    Scared Straight!: Arnold Shapiro
    Le vent des amoureux: Albert Lamorisse
    Mysterious Castles of Clay: Alan Root
    Raoni: Jean-Pierre Dutilleux, Barry Hugh Williams, Michel Gast
    With Babies and Banners: Story of the Women’s Emergency Brigade: Anne Bohlen, Lyn Goldfarb, Lorraine Gray

    If anyone has a link to this movie please post it.

    • scott
      June 22, 2014 at 9:06 am

      Your are all so gullible!!
      This is not a true story… everyone is looking for movie? Look into the paper who wrote the article. And where on he’ll do you think “GRAND HAVEN” is?? Doctors and officers do not talk to the press like that.

      • Dan Reid
        June 24, 2014 at 3:21 pm

        Shit, I guess I’m

    • Tara
      July 19, 2017 at 1:47 am

      Omg. I can’t believe how many morons are posting on here, clearly believing this. Like, what the actual F#*%!

  11. Don
    June 22, 2014 at 9:20 am

    “James Camperman”?? I love it!! This is hilarious! Well played, The Grand River Times. Well played.

  12. Jeff S.
    June 22, 2014 at 11:43 am

    Ive seen that documentry and it really is award worthy. Its unbelievable the violent secrets of Grand Haven’s past and the elderly residents attempts to hide the truth. Its about time someone like The Grand River Times steps up and tells the public what really goes on. Grand Haven has a dark side and its about time it gets exposed!

  13. susan
    June 22, 2014 at 1:10 pm

    I enjoy visiting the fountain,but for the love of God people beating someone for bashing it,I am not saying he was not a ground sloth but to beat spmeone bad enough. To be in the hospital????? He may be an ass but he is someones son and her heart is broken worrying about her son.The police should have been there sooner and removed him not a crowd beat him senseless….just my thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree is not important…right is right and wrong and this is WRONG!

    • Lee
      July 9, 2014 at 4:23 pm

      This is satire.

  14. Keepinitreal
    June 24, 2014 at 3:14 pm

    Heck he’s lucky his head wasnt put on a pole on top of Dewy Hill…with the rest of asinine tourist who dare voice disparaging remarks about our dear Musical Fountain

  15. Rebecca Askew
    June 24, 2014 at 7:24 pm

    This paper is the funniest thing ever! Thank you for the smiles!

  16. animal
    June 25, 2014 at 1:45 am

    you need to write one about the aliens at the coal tipple….there is still alot of chatter going on about it…lol
    keep up the good work!!

  17. Matty
    June 25, 2014 at 6:12 am

    the lesson here is not that you shouldn’t heckle beloved tourist crap, but that you shouldn’t try to to write satire unless you’re really, really good. you probably won’t pull it off.

  18. Constance Waid
    June 27, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    If he was not enjoying the performance he did not have to stay. He could have withdrawn to the parking lot, his auto to wait for any friends or family who were with him and not disturbed the other attendees.

  19. Jerred
    July 18, 2017 at 8:50 pm

    The music they play is so old, I will heckle it as well.
    Let’s at least play some music from the 70s

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