Wall Street investors were left reeling today, after an early morning plunge in Ice-Cream-Futures led to an afternoon collapse in share prices across the entire Ice-Cream Industry, with Coldstone, Haagen Dazs and Dairy-Treat all losing more than 35% of their market valuation in less than three hours. Analysts and Traders stood helplessly by as news of a global waffle-cone shortage triggered a mass sell-off of shares in The Big-3 (as the three corporate ice-creameries are known to investors).
As word of the cone shortage spread across the Internet and Financial News Networks, anxious Dairy-Treat customers stood in a line that continued to grow longer throughout the afternoon, and watched as the cost of an ice-cream cone, and other ice-cream-related products rose steadily.
Local resident Shirley Everett, who stood in line for over two hours with her three young children to get one more cone while they might still afford it, described the scene. “It reminded me of old video clips of gas station lines during the 1970s oil-embargo. When we first got in line, a soft serve ice-cream cone was $2.35, and by the time we got to the front of the line, it cost $7.85 – and that’s without any sprinkles on it. My poor kids had to share the one small cone between them, and if this keeps going, who knows when they’ll be able to have another one.”
As the rising cost of ice-cream leaves fewer and fewer people able to afford it, other sweet, summertime snacks are expected to be the beneficiaries. In after-hours trading, shares in all the major companies making Elephant Ears and Cotton Candy have seen a significant rise in share prices.
Dairy-Treat, the national conglomerate with just the one superstore location in Grand Haven, has not made any official comment on today’s market collapse, or the wider ramifications of how a prolonged waffle-cone shortage might affect its quarterly or annual results, but is said to have called an emergency Board Meeting in order to address this latest crisis.